I hate the dirt I stand on
by Merci
Summary: Saito x Sano implied - Saito hates everything he sees, including Sanosuke, who wanders into his line of vision. Crack and lack of seriousness.


**Warning:**  This story contains yaoi because I love it so!  If you are a homophobe don't read.  Simple!

**Other Warnings:**  Self insertion (yes, this isn't meant to be serious so I don't mind putting myself into this thing!  Don't get offended!  It's no a mary-sue!)  

NOTE:  This isn't meant to make sense!  The idea came to me when my boyfriend kept saying how Saito has a look of loathing for everything around him.  "The man hates the dirt he's standing on!"  Then I threw yaoi into the mix b/c I'm good like that ^_^ Oh yeah, I'm really Merci. TearsLikeBlood is just a name I picked when all (and I mean ALL) the names were gone on hotmail and yahoo. (I never get to use a good name for those things! *pout*

My first RK writing.  Hopefully the RK fanbase doesn't hate me too much for this halfassed attempt at writing anything.

I don't own any of the characters.  Wait I… no, I still don't own them.

**I hate the dirt I stand on**

Saito Hajime sat at his desk.  Pure contempt for everything he saw etched into his features.  Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Mr. Saito?…" a deputy stuck his head into the office.  Saito shot him a glare, making the man return to whatever it was he was doing before he decided to disturb his superior.

"God, I hate him."  Saito said to himself.  "I hate everything!"  He sat there for a few more minutes staring at his desk.  _'I hate this desk.  I hate this office.  I hate Sano… Sano?'_

Surprise appeared on the wolf of mibu's face for a moment, before it was replaced with a contemptuous scowl.  "What are you doing here, Sano?"

The man in question stood before him in his office, a nervous look on his face.  "Um.."

"Well, what?"  Saito's voice becoming bored already with the young man's presence.

"Well, um, I was told by someone that you actually might not hate me…"

"That's insane, moron.  I DO hate you."

Suddenly there was a flash of light and a shadowed figure appeared from within the light.  "Oh, Saito."  A voice (presumably the figures) said.  "You know you love Sano, and he loves you too.  You know that you two will be fucking by the end of this fic.  It's just a matter of time!"

"What?!!"  Saito exclaimed, enraged.  "What makes you think that?!!  And who the hell are you?!!  I have no idea who you are, but I hate you too!"

"Of course you do Saito.  But you see, I am in control of both of your fates right now because if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have the luxury of sitting here right now doing nothing but hating the world.  There is nothing you can do to change it because I think you two make such a cute couple!  You two openly show how much you hate eachother… in the eyes of any rabid fangirl, that MUST mean that you two are fucking behind the scenes… hell, it makes perfect sense to ME.  Now shut up and kiss Sano."

"I will do no such thing! I… * mph!*"  Saito's words were cut off as he found himself taking Sano in a passionate embrace and almost… enjoying it.  He broke off the kiss, leaving Sano breathless with desire.  "You made me do that!"  He yelled at the figure.

"Yes, I did.  Now do it again!  Sano."

"Yes..?"  The roosterhead said dreamily, still under the influence of Saito's powerful kiss.

"I want you to take a more active role in all of this!  Why don't you take Saito over his desk?"

"Sure thing, lady!  I like you!"

"I hate you!"

"Yes you do Saito, but right now there is some sweet lovin' to be had!"

"Wha…?"  Saito was cut off as Sanosuke proceeded to rip their clothes off in a fit of lust (inspired by somwehere… * whistle*).  After long, both men were moaning eachother's names in passion.  "Hey, you!  There is no way that I would be uke in any situation with anyone!  Make me seme!" Saito yelled at the figure.

"Well, I know this isn't all THAT probable, but I have seen you play uke to a couple people, so just deal with it and get back to the naughtyness that there is to be had!"

And with that the two men continued to make sweet sweet love until forever (because I'm such a hopeless romantic and I think that everyone should have a happy ending).

The shadowed figure was about to return to her realm of the mundane when Katsu came bursting in through the door to the office (this outburst was completely ignored by Saito and Sano who were much too busy with eachother than deal with anything else).

"Merci!  I thought you were going to do something with me in it!  You were just bitching about how there's hardly anything with me in it!  Wah."

"Oh, shut up!"  The figure said.  "You're acting totally out of character!"

"Fine then!  I'll just go back to being all by myself and write my paper then!"

"That's more like it.  Since you've been such a good boy and getting back into character, I'll let you come home with me tonight (yay!).  Then I'll throw you together with Sano later because I also think that you two would look cute together!"   ^_^

Katsu seemed pleased at the idea and returned with the unidentified figure to the world of the mundane for the night.

The end

Yay me!

Epilogue

After their encounter, Saito decided to make an honest wo/man out of Sano and married him.  They got a house with a white picket fence and 1.5 kids.  (Sano got pregnant from the encounter didn't cha know!  Only in fanfiction! ^_^)


End file.
